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Post by Amber Jacobs on Aug 19, 2015 22:29:04 GMT
Amber Jacobs sat on the couch in her Upper East Side apartment. She'd been back in New York for a while now, but had spent considerably less time there in recent weeks. The three bedroom apartment hadn't gone entirely unused though. Cassidy Miller, Amber's assistant who had transferred with her from California was staying there as well, at least until she found a place of her own. Amber had forbidden Cassidy from moving in with a new guy and Cassidy was finding the New York real estate landscape to be daunting. But Amber didn't mind having her there, and Cassidy in the recent weeks had typically had the place to herself and had even unpacked most of Amber's things save for a few boxes.
For the past few nights though, Amber had been staying in her apartment and even though she didn't say much to Cassidy about it, it obviously upset her. After several nights of staying at Brandon Finn's Penthouse but barely seeing him while he went out with Eliot Quinn, she'd decided it made more sense for her to stay at her place. And so on nights that she knew Brandon would be going out, she retired to her own residence instead. She assumed that on the first night she would hear from him, asking where she was.
When a day passed and he continued to text her as though nothing was different, she became a bit agitated and had snapped at Cassidy several times before her well-meaning assistant actually put together the pieces. They had wine that night and watched bad movies on Lifetime and Hallmark.
It wasn't until the most recent day that Amber's irritation had turned into a mix of sadness and doubt. She and Cassidy were watching Netflix, drinking wine, and going over Amber's schedule for the next day when Cassidy looked at her and asked if she was okay.
"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Oooookay," was Cassidy's only reply.
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Post by Brandon Finn on Aug 19, 2015 22:49:07 GMT
Time seemed to move faster over the last several weeks. With a sense of renewed vigor, he and Eliot Quinn had found themselves hitting up the city's nightlife several times a week, each night's festivities seeming to last longer than the night before. Eliot's idea of fun was much more in line with the fun that he had been so accustomed to, it didn't seem to register that he could have been doing anything wrong. There were a lot of drinks passed around, a lot of women he had flirted with and tried to get to leave with his friend, and nobody that he bothered to bring home. So, he thought, it had actually been a much more adult of night of partying than he might have been having before his relationship with Amber.
And so time had seemed to blur for Brandon. Between late nights out with his friend, long days at the office, and only much time for sleep in between, he had barely registered when a constant force in his life had been missing. He had often sent Amber text messages throughout the day, little reminders of how much he loved her, how much he wanted to ravage her when she wore her glasses, how much he was looking forward to seeing her.
But somehow it had slipped through the cracks that she hadn't been around for the last couple of days. His first thought had been to call her and apologize, offering to take her out to dinner to make up for it, but something told him that she might have ignored his call. One thing she couldn't ignore would be his presence at her apartment. He had used the time in the car on the way over to figure out exactly what he wanted to say, how much he should apologize for it, but then decided that he needed to gauge just how upset she was first. Preparing for the worst, he took a deep breath before opening the door.
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Post by Amber Jacobs on Aug 19, 2015 22:57:36 GMT
Cassidy was the one to buzz him up and open the door. Of course, she'd been expecting it to be food, or maybe the cute neighbor from a few floors down who she liked to flirt with by the mailbox. Instead, it was Brandon. Her eyes went wide and she glanced over her shoulder, Amber was still on the couch. "Oooookay," she said, for the second time that night. "She didn't tell me what to do if you showed up. She just told me what to do if you called," the brunette nodded before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Brandon. Amber is in the middle of something very important for the magazine and she can't come to the pho-" she stopped and winced. "Listen, I am going to let you in and I am probably going to get fired for letting you in, but she fires me once a day at least." She dropped her voice to a low whisper. "But just between you and me, she's not exactly happy right now. Less angry than she was the other day, but still not happy. I'm going to go get some wine at the store and give you two some time to talk it over. Just don't get freaky in the living room, because I don't want to wait in the hallway all night."
With that, she stepped aside to let him in while she grabbed her coat and purse from a hook in the entryway.
"Cassidy, who was it?" Amber asked, getting up finally to walk towards the door. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Brandon. "Oh."
Cassidy cleared her throat theatrically. "I'm going to go get a bottle of wine or four. I'll be back!" she called out before rushing out of the apartment.
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Post by Brandon Finn on Aug 19, 2015 23:13:30 GMT
If he hadn't been aware of the potential impending argument, Brandon might have found Cassidy's little rant amusing. The subject matter, however, was less than amusing. He was expecting Amber to be upset, to be furious even, but he as at least hoping that she would be willing to talk to him and let him explain. Cassidy stepped aside to let him in and he hesitated in the entryway for a minute, trying to sort through what he was sorry for first - for not spending more time with her over the last several days, or for not realizing that she hadn't been in his bed when he got home.
He looked at her with a soft smile, "Hey."
"Amber, I'm really sorry." It was nice and neutral, and hopefully it conveyed everything that he was truly sorry for. Cursing inwardly he realized he should have brought her something to soften the blow, flowers or wine or something. It would have made a follow-up question of 'do you forgive me?' that much easier to segue into.
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Post by Amber Jacobs on Aug 19, 2015 23:50:02 GMT
Amber watched Cassidy step out of the apartment "You're fired!" she called after her half-heartedly, knowing damn well that she wasn't actually going to fire her assistant.
When Brandon smiled at her and apologized, part of her wanted to go to him - the part that had missed him over the past couple of days and had been amused and happy to wake up each night when he returned from the bar, running her fingers through his hair while he chatted away with her before falling asleep. But then there were even a few nights where he didn't wake her and she thought staying there just to be there alone was silly. The part of her that wanted to go to him and tell him it was okay and she forgave him was not nearly as loud as the part of her that was hurt and filled with doubt about what he really wanted.
"Did you take a couple of days because you weren't sure what to say," she started slowly. "Or because it took you this long to notice that I wasn't actually there next to you when you came home? Because the first night, I thought that maybe it was the first one. I thought you weren't sure what to say and I'd explain to you that since you were going to be out anyway that it didn't make sense for me to spend the night at your place when I was only going to really see you for an hour before I had to leave for work and that I'd say 'It's okay, we can have a night in tomorrow, I'll just hang out with Cassidy tonight.'"
"And then the next day went by and when I did hear from you it was completely normal, and I thought maybe we were just trying to avoid an argument or that you'd realized my reasoning and maybe you'd let me know to come back until you said you were going out again with Eliot, and I started to get a little angry. But it was the morning after that night that I came to the conclusion that you either didn't know or didn't care that I wasn't there that night. So please, tell me I'm wrong and tell me that you noticed the very moment I wasn't there and were just trying to figure out what to say."
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Post by Brandon Finn on Aug 20, 2015 0:01:37 GMT
He should have supposed that it wasn't just the fact that he hadn't noticed that she was gone that was the problem. Brandon hadn't meant not to notice it. He distinctly remembered waking up, hung over on most occassinos, to find that she wasn't there. Somehow he had just assumed that he had missed her leaving for the moment, assumed that she had an early meeting or something, but he never thought to ask about it. Most of the time he was distracted by his daily routine to remember to set up plans for them to spend time together after work, or promise to take her out on another real date to make up for his absence, but it had slipped his mind too. He cursed Eliot for drawing him into a downward spiral of partying, and wondered vaguely if should just assume now that his misstep with Amber meant that he was going on a hiatus from the bar scene.
"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I wasn't thinking. Let me make it up to you - I'll call Quinn and let him know that I'm taking a break for a while and we can just stay in."
He didn't want to admit to her that it had taken him this long to notice, or to know for sure what was wrong. That seemed like the worst move to make.
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Post by Amber Jacobs on Aug 20, 2015 0:24:24 GMT
Amber sighed softly, shaking her head at him. "Brandon, if you want to go out you can go out. I'm the one that told you it was okay. I want you to have friends and go out and have a good time and not feel like..." she trailed off and frowned. "Staying in with me shouldn't be a penance or a punishment." Looking up at him sadly, she fidgeted a bit. "I'm boring now," she admitted. "I like going out now and then, but I don't get drunk the way that I used to or cause scenes the way I once did. I like staying in, I like watching movies in one of your shirts and doing crossword puzzles incorrectly, partially just to hear you laugh." She ran her fingers through her hair. "And part of me thinks that the reason you didn't notice right away is because you're in love with a person that I'm not anymore."
She looked down at the floor for a moment, trying to take a deep breath and stay calm and will away the fact that she actually felt a bit like crying now that he was here and she was admitting all of this out loud. "I missed you and I love you and I know that for the ten years that I was gone, my very best day without you wasn't nearly as good as the worst day I had with you. But I'm different, and I'm not quite sure that who I am is enough to really make you happy anymore."
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Post by Brandon Finn on Aug 20, 2015 0:37:28 GMT
There might have been a small, minute possibility that she had a point. He had loved who she used to be with their incessant partying, the trouble they used to cause, and the way that he always knew exactly how their nights would end up. There was a sense of familiarity with their new routine as well, he supposed, but it was dramatically different than what he was expecting. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he still loved her, that he might have even loved her more than he had when he was eighteen and stupid, but it was a very different kind of love. This kind of love was the real kind, the one that he knew was going to eventually lead him to ensuring that she remained a permanent fixture in his life, and it scared him.
After making three failed attempts at being an adult, each of which he rushed into quickly, he wanted to take his time. It was important to ensure Amber, the damn city, and himself that this time would be the last time that he proposed to someone. If he proposed to her. It was a thought that caused him a small sense of anxiety. It wasn't fear of something he was giving up, at least not in its entirety. It was fear that he was going to ... He didn't know.
"You do make me happy," he tried to reassure her. "I was in love with the person that you used to be. But that doesn't mean that I don't love who you are now."
Was there an easy way to explain to her that he was trying to balance the person that he used to be with the person that he knew she would make him become? That he wasn't sure how the two sides of his personality were going to mesh? They needed to find a balance.
"You're not boring. And spending time with you isn't punishment, so stop thinking that way."
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Post by Amber Jacobs on Aug 20, 2015 1:20:15 GMT
Amber bit her lip and looked at him, she'd spent two days entirely in her own head and as he tried to reassure her, she wanted nothing more that to take him at his word, but she knew that there was work to do. Caving slightly, she walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest. She hadn't realized quite how much she'd missed him over the recent days until she was close to him again, arms wrapped around him. "I love you too," she said gently, looking up at him.
"And I mean it, I don't want you to stop going out and having a good time. Eliot may not be my favorite person," she admitted. "But I don't want you to think you can't."
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Post by Brandon Finn on Aug 20, 2015 1:31:36 GMT
Wrapping his arms around her he sighed softly. He bent down to press a kiss to her lips. "You can come with us, you know." Brandon had tried to invite her when he and Eliot had first going out over the course of their relationship. She had been the one to say no; but he hadn't pressed it any further. He wasn't sure but he just assumed that she would have rather stayed home. He needed to remember that just because some things had changed, it didn't mean that everything had.
"You should come with us," he ammended.
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Post by Amber Jacobs on Aug 20, 2015 1:41:31 GMT
Amber pursed her lips when he invited her out again and took a breath. Taking his hand, she tugged him towards the couch so that they could sit and actually talk. "Brandon," she started slowly, unsure how to articulate what she wanted to say without making it seem like she was contradicting what she'd said before about being okay with him going out with his friends. "I think it would be really fun if you and I went out one night. In fact, there's probably no one else I'd rather go out with and find trouble," she smiled at him. "But I don't know how much I actually want to spend time with Eliot Quinn."
She looked at him apologetically. "I know he's your friend and I know you have a good time with him, and that's why I haven't said anything. But there's something about him, the women he brings around, some stories that I've heard. And if I'm being entirely honest, I don't think he likes me much either. Because I think he prefers it when you're single so he has someone else to cause trouble with. And I trust you. I just...don't think that he's someone I want to go out and spend time with if I want to have fun."
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Post by Brandon Finn on Aug 20, 2015 1:48:29 GMT
Sitting beside her on the couch, he smirked and shook his head. "How many stories about us do you think that people have told?" He wasn't exactly sure what kind of stories she had heard about Eliot, but as Brandon had been there at the clubs with him recently, he was sure that whatever stories about the partying and women were, well, mostly true. But that wasn't something to be upset about or concerned about. And yes, he had probably flirted a little inappropriately with women to get them to dance with or have a drink with his friend, but it was just all in the spirit of two men having fun. He thought that the fact that not a single woman had ever become the object of his own affection on any of these nights should have spoken volumes.
"I'm sure you'd feel differently if you got to know him," Brandon defended. "Look, why don't we go out tomorrow night and if you don't have any fun then we don't have to do it again? But if you do - we can make it part of our routine. Trade off a night out with a night in front of some movie?"
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Post by Amber Jacobs on Aug 20, 2015 1:58:37 GMT
Amber chewed on her lip. "Yeah but the stories about us weren't exactly false and the stories about him..." she trailed off, stopping short of bringing up the stories she'd heard shortly after their camping adventure. When the familiar face of the girl running the campaign fundraiser had appeared in the paper Cassidy delivered her to her desk that morning and more and more whispers came in about what exactly had occurred. But she didn't want to alienate someone Brandon seemed close to. Instead, she snapped her mouth shut and nodded. "Okay. One night. But for the record, I always have fun with you. It's everyone else that I find less than appealing to spend my time with. Because after all, when other people are around I have to keep my clothes on."
And then, with timing that was almost comedic and cosmic, the door to her apartment opened and she glanced up as Cassidy walked awkwardly into the living room with her hand over her eyes and a grocery bag clanging with wine bottles inside in her other arm. "Is everyone dressed?" she asked hesitantly.
The grin on Cassidy's face making Amber slap her own forehead with her palm, the blonde shook her head. "You're so fired."
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Post by Brandon Finn on Aug 20, 2015 2:04:09 GMT
Brandon laughed and placed his arm around Amber's shoulders, pulling her in closely and kissing the top of her head. "You should give the poor girl a break," he advised. "She is the one who let me in. You probably would have slammed the door in my face." As she had done so many times when they were younger. Or so he had seemed to remember. They had had a tumultuous relationship, if you could call it that. And like tonight, the making up part always seemed to make it worth the fight in the first place.
He leaned over and whispered softly in Amber's ear, "Though, we could certainly undressed without her here."
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Post by Amber Jacobs on Aug 20, 2015 2:13:41 GMT
Amber giggled softly when Brandon whispered in her ear.
Cassidy pulled her hand from her eyes, placing the bag full of wine bottles on the coffee table and reaching in for her favorite, not bothering with a glass, only grabbing the corkscrew. She scrunched her nose at them both. "Stealing my lady date for the evening, Brandon Finn. And I'm the one who threw you a bone. Et tu, Brute?" she shook her head. "You two go, do things. I'll be in my room, with headphones, deafening myself and numbing the pain of my chronically single status," she joked. She gave a grand flourishing gesture with her hand. "And Brandon, if you'd ever like to express your gratitude for me having your back in all this, I like chocolate, wine, and am told I look fantastic in Versace. Or I tell myself that, when I try it on at the closet at work when no one's around," she shrugged, sticking out her tongue at them before retreating for the evening.
"Good night Cassidy," Amber called after her with a laugh before turning to Brandon and lifting her eyebrow. "Two things occur to me right now. One is that for everything new that we're trying...making up was always our specialty. And the other is that you still haven't been over to see my new room, or help me break in the new bed."
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